


I gave you my soul long time ago, long time ago

by bibliophile357



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Kid Fic, Love at First Sight, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-25 15:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10767525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliophile357/pseuds/bibliophile357
Summary: Xabi is a children's book illustrator and Stevie is a university teacher with three little daughters. When they meet at the worst dedication ever, there's love at first sight.





	I gave you my soul long time ago, long time ago

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunasenzanotte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasenzanotte/gifts).



> This idea has been bugging me for a year and I'm so glad that it's finally here, finished :)  
> Dear lunasenzanotte, I hope so so so much that you will like this fic and that you'll enjoy reading it :)  
> And dear readers, thank you for giving this story a go :) Enjoy <3

 

„And the four fluffy kittens went to bed happily after such an exciting day. Their tiny paws were tucked under their small furry cheeks as they fell asleep,” the writer puts down the book with an expectant look on his face and the group of children surrounding him laugh and _aww_ in unison like this was the best thing they've ever heard. Stevie feels like throwing up.

  
Lexie and Lilly are the first ones to request another story and Stevie needs to suppress an annoyed groan and he has no idea at all how his girls reached this point, to want to listen so eagerly to more of this shit. He's a goddamn university teacher, for fuck's sake. And he doesn't read Shakespeare to his little girls when they're going to bed, but at least he’s doing his best to find some quality books for them.

  
And now here they are, looking all wide eyed and utterly excited about the stupidest book he's seen and well, during his career as a literature teacher, he’s read some terrible stuff. This story about the kittens couldn’t be further from well-written, the characters are dumb and Stevie knows that when someone’s eight, then looking for plot holes isn't the most important thing, but he still cannot believe that children actually like _this._

  
„Daddy,” Lourdes whispers and Stevie leans closer to her. She wasn't as brave as her sisters who are kneeling in the front row and are talking animatedly each time there’s a short break between the readings. They’re probably discussing the adventures of those dumb kittens.

  
Stevie hums quietly and Lourdes wiggles in her seat until she’s sitting face to face with him and she puts one of her tiny baby hands on Stevie's cheek.

  
„Don’t do that with your forehead, daddy” she says, trying to be quiet, but she fails and Stevie can already feel the eyes of every parent in the room on him.

  
„What shouldn’t I do, sweetie?” Stevie asks back and covers Lourdes’ palm with his own, a thing she always enjoys, because she thinks that Stevie’s hands are warm and cosy.

  
„That wrinkle thing. It looks ugly,” Lourdes answers, probably a lot louder than she intended. But Stevie’s pretty used to this, both Lexie and Lilly had this phase at three years old, when they spoke a lot louder than necessary. He’s not used to being criticized this way, though, especially not by a baby girl.

  
„It’s called a frown,” he mumbles, at least he should be quiet from the two of them. They’re at a dedication after all and no matter how bad that writer is, Stevie knows it very well how annoying it feels when there’s noise during lectures.

  
Lourdes repeats it after him and giggles softly when she doesn’t get it right at first. They earn a discreet cough from a mom sitting in front of them and Stevie decides that this is the right moment to leave the room, he finally has an acceptable excuse to do so. He collects the assignments sprawled out on the chair next to him, he’s been reading through them right until Lourdes didn’t care about the dumb kittens anymore. And she let the whole room know that Stevie’s ugly when he frowns.

  
So they leave as quietly as they can. There’s a corridor outside with some half dead plants and apparently another man who’s fed up with the whole children book thing. Stevie absentmindedly nods towards the man and he immediately forgets about him because Lourdes starts wiggling in his arms and the pile of assignments is threatening to fall on the dirty ground.

  
„You are doing that again,” Lourdes says and now that she doesn’t have to pay so much attention to being quiet her voice echoes in the empty corridor.

  
„I am not,” Stevie puts her down with a smile and he’s glad that both Lourdes and the boring essays are okay. Stevie crouches down to her, careful not to frown again. „What would you like to do?”

  
There’s still more than half an hour left from the reading and that’s followed by the dedication and Stevie already feels sick when he realizes that he’ll have to wait in the row with his overexcited daughters.

  
„I wanna draw,” Lourdes answers after a moment of hesitation and Stevie shrugs, why not. Lourdes’ constant need to draw glittery fairies is still a lot better than listening to what’s going on inside.

 

*

 

Xabi’s been staring out of the window for the last half an hour and he curses himself for not being cautious enough. His phone’s battery died and now he’s stuck here with nothing.

  
It’s mere formality to stay at the dedication because to be honest, who the hell cares about the illustrator of the book when the writer’s also there. It’s not the first time that Xabi must waste two precious hours of his life with some useless stuff like this, but at least he had his phone with him on the other occasions. He’s bored and he’s angry and he doesn’t even have a simple sheet of paper at him to doodle something. He curses himself again, he’s truly the dumbest.

  
“I wanna draw,” the voice of a little girl breaks into his self-pity session and Xabi’s mood suddenly lights up. This is his only chance to bring something worthy out of the remainders of this stupid dedication.

  
So he crosses the distance between him and the baby girl on the other side of the corridor. She seems to be busy with finding the right position to sit in her father’s lap who simply took a seat on the ground. Xabi thinks that it’s kind of nice in a way that the man doesn’t care about the cold and dirty piles if his daughter would like to draw.

  
“Hello,” Xabi greets them as he gets there and they look up at him in synch. The girl’s a tiny angel and the man looks very nice with his faint stubble and deep ocean blue eyes.

  
“Hi,” the man half asks half states and he raises his eyebrows, clearly waiting for Xabi to explain why he interrupted them.

  
“I’m Xabi Alonso and I love to draw,” he starts and he’s got a smile playing in the corner of his lips because the man and the girl look so similar and Xabi somehow immediately feels familiar to them. “I was wondering if you’d let me join you.”

  
The girl’s eyes lighten up and Xabi knows that from now on it’ll be okay. Before her dad can even speak, she takes matters into her own hands and taps the ground next to them.

  
“I’m Lourdes Gerrard and I’d like to draw with you.”

  
Xabi glances at the man for affirmation and he nods, so Xabi lowers himself on the tiles as well and shit, they’re colder than they seemed to be. But at least he won’t have to die from boredom alone.

  
“I love fairies,” Lourdes declares and shows Xabi her drawing of a stick figure with something similar to wings on its back.

  
“Oh, you’re very good at it,” Xabi tells her and she giggles at this then goes back to continuing her picture.

  
“It’s going to be a fairy family,” the man says and now that Lourdes is focused on her work, Xabi can take in the details of his face, the wrinkles on his forehead, the tired circles under his eyes and his soft looking lips. They might be around the same age, maybe he’s a little older than Xabi and he doesn’t know what on earth has gotten into him, but he finds this man very attractive. Let’s say a lot more attractive than it’d be appropriate with a baby girl this close to them.

  
“I’m Steven by the way.”

  
“Nice to meet you, Steven Gerrard,” Xabi says and not only because it’s a required formality, but also because he wants to pronounce the name, taste every sound.

  
They shake hands awkwardly behind Lourdes’ back who’s in the middle of drawing the second fairy and her lips are pursed in concentration. And Xabi would lie blatantly if he said that this handshake didn’t make things to him, because well. He’s a 33 year old children book illustrator with his own apartment and a nice car and he’s about to reach the peak of his career and still, he feels some tingling excitement running down his spine as their fingers are entwined. It’s only a few seconds, but it’s oh so warm and Xabi involuntarily brushes the light skin of the back of Steven’s hand as they let go of the handshake and it feels like something he could do for hours. Discover every thin line on that hand and then the sensitive part of the wrist and then follow the path of see through veins until… fuck.

  
“What are you doing here?” Steven asks and Xabi can only hope that he didn’t miss anything else while he was too busy with teenage-ish daydreams.

  
“I illustrated this kitten book and I have to be here. I hate it, actually,” Xabi doesn’t usually rant about this to people, but now the words are there, as if he’s known Steven for years and not barely five minutes. “And you?”

  
“My daughters love these stories, so I brought them. I thought that I had enough willpower to endure the entire reading, but…” Steven stops abruptly and he looks at Xabi with his head slightly tilted, almost apologising. He was probably just about to criticize the book and then quickly realized that it was Xabi’s work too.

  
“I know that it’s bad, hey,” Xabi reassures him with a smile. “I’ve read it many times to get the drawings right, but I’ll get nauseous if I hear parts from it one more time.”

  
Steven lets out a relieved sigh and even though Xabi knows that he’s being impolite, he can’t tear his gaze away from Steven’s lips. Or his throat and the soft movements of his Adam’s apple each time he swallows. And it’s really tense this way because Xabi’s not hundred per cent sure, but Steven might be doing the same, his eyes are never leaving Xabi and he looks interested.

  
“Can you help me with the fairy palace?” Lourdes asks and she hands Xabi her pencil even before Xabi could answer. Not that his answer would’ve been no.

  
Xabi moves a tiny bit closer to Lourdes and now he’s pressed to Steven and it should be uncomfortable. Of course it’s not, if the handshake sent shivers down his spine then sitting with no space between their thighs is enough to cause all kinds of heart rhythm disorders. For a split second he wonders if it’s not too weird to be this affected by the proximity of a complete stranger, but Steven’s scent and Lourdes’ impatient nudge dissolves these thoughts.

  
“How should we draw it?” Xabi waits for the little girl’s instructions and tries to follow them as closely as possible, although it’s difficult to fit thirty two heart shaped windows into a single drawing.

  
But Lourdes is happy with it and Steven smells like home and they’re talking quietly. It feels good, and for the first time in his life Xabi wishes that the dedication would last longer.

  
It does not though and before they leave Lourdes asks Steven to tear the paper in two and she gives Xabi the part with the father fairy and his three little girls and she keeps the side with the palace.

 

  
***

 

  
„Oh, fuck, I'm sorry,” Stevie mutters as he runs into someone on the busy corridor of the campus.

  
He'll be late from his lecture if he doesn’t hurry and he just hates when people don’t see this. It should be pretty easy, he looks like a zombie and his eyes are getting filled with tears each time there’s stronger light. Lexie had a serious fever last night and he stayed up with her, changed the wet clothes on her forehead and tried to ease her to sleep by caressing her sweaty curls and telling her stories. He went to sleep around five in the morning and he can't even understand how he got up only two hours later to get Lourdes and Lilly ready for school and call his aunt to come over and be there with Lexie. So, that's why he's running with half of the library stuck into his bag and a shitty cup of coffee in his hand.

  
„Steven?” he hears his name from behind and he turns back quickly, groaning. Who the hell would disturb him when he's got clearly no time to waste.

  
He sees ginger beard and a neat shirt and a bright smile.

  
„Gerrard, right?” the man asks again now that he's got Stevie's attention and he can only nod when his exhausted brain puts the pieces together. He suddenly remembers that bloody dedication that turned into something a lot more exciting when this man with his hot beard and nice light citrus smell sat down next to Lourdes and him.

  
„Xabi,” Stevie says and walks back a few steps to shake the man's hand, just to realize that it's going to be awkward again because Xabi's holding some folders, probably filled with drawings and Stevie's carrying his coffee and the pile of books that didn’t fit in his bag.

  
So they don't shake hands, for a second they're just inspecting each other's features and Stevie could damn easily get lost in this, forget about the lecture and the fact that he barely slept three hours. He's afraid though, he's been afraid ever since his wife left and he loves every single moment spent with his daughters, but. But he's afraid of forming new, strong relationship bonds.

  
„What are you doing here?” Stevie asks and with this he breaks their second of frozen eternity where there was no busy university corridor, no loud speaking, nobody. Just them. And Stevie knows that it's uncommon and probably not normal at all, but it still feels good.

  
„I had some stuff to do at the Art Faculty, I'll be holding a presentation later this month about illustrating books for toddlers. It's actually very nice,” Xabi's voice is so warm at this point and Stevie remembers that he was like this even last year when they met. Each time he has to talk about drawing or children, he becomes so soft and cozy, so home-like, fresh bread, honey tea and blistering fire. Every cliche like this at once and Stevie knows that he's fucked, because it must definitely mean something if they simply click like this.

  
„Can I ask you something?” he blurts out because suddenly all these things feel overwhelmingly much. And Stevie's not a teenage boy, he doesn't have pink ideals about love anymore, he only has the three little girls he adores and his job. For years, he thought that it's enough, in fact, he hasn't even questioned it, that maybe he could want more. There's something sweet glimmering in Xabi's eyes and his smile-wrinkles make Stevie reevaluate many things.

  
„Yeah?” Xabi says and he holds his map a bit closer to himself and somehow Stevie is sure that it's not a gesture of rejection.

  
„I would really like to get to know you,” he freaking blushes at this and Xabi's faint smile widens and it's cheesy, but it makes Stevie's entire universe explode to tiny irrecognizable pieces. Then all these fall back to place, perfectly and Stevie is so glad that he took the courage to say this, to make himselt vulnerable in a way.

  
„I would love that, Steven,” Xabi responds and he puts the accent on Stevie's name, on purpose. It does miracles to Stevie's stupid heart. „Maybe we could meet somewhere later? I'll be around for a few days.”

  
„Lexie is very sick, but hopefully she'll get better and then. If it's okay for you,” Stevie adds.

  
„It is,” Xabi looks around and he draws them to a quieter corner of the corridor. „We should exchange numbers for that, though.”  
And they do that and Stevie's fingers tremble the slightest when he introduces Xabi's number in his phone. He doesn't even care about being late anymore.

 

 

*

 

 

It's three days later when they can finally meet and Xabi can't recall the last time he was this excited. They agreed on a small restaurant Stevie swears that it's the best ever and Xabi has to repeat that it's not a date like a mantra. He still doesn't manage to convince himself and he puts on his nicest shirt and he spends a lot more time in front of the mirror than he would like to admit.

  
Xabi is there earlier and his initial reaction is that Steven doesn't even want to meet him. It was just him overreacting. His last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster, it's a terrible mix of what-ifs and self-reassurance and Xabi hates and loves it at the same time.  
But then Steven arrives and he's wearing a nice shirt too and Xabi can let out a deep sigh, a heavy weight nestled into his chest.

  
„I'm sorry, I had to give the girls all the instructions. Lilly is big enough to take care of the little ones and Lourdes is already sleeping, thank God. It just takes a lot of time,” Steven explains and while he does so he takes a seat on the other side of the table and Xabi's mesmerised as he watches him.

  
„It’s no problem at all,” Xabi says and it's incredible how quickly his worries have been washed away. He can finally lean back in his chair and he feels calm, it's like he's seen Steven run his long fingers through his messy hair many times before and there's something familiar in the faint frown almost never leaving his forehead.

  
„I’m so happy that we managed to meet,” Steven starts talking and Xabi likes the sound of it, he could listen to him speak for ages, to focus not even on the proper meaning of the words, just on the rhytmical flow of it. „I don't even know if there's something like this. But this feels _right._ I don't know many things about you and still, I have this feeling deep down that it's...” and then he stops and Xabi is in awe, he expected awkward conversations about neutral topics and heavy silences. Not even in his wildest dreams did he think about such a sweet and honest beginning.

  
„The thing is, that I felt this too,” Xabi decides that if Steven considers him worthy enough to bare himself and open up like this, then he m continue similarly. „I mean, we're not that young and that's the weirdest part of it, that we still experience these emotions. I'm actually shocked because...” instead of continuing it immediately Xabi looks into Steven's eyes, it's kind of like an extra test to see if they truly fit as much as they imagine it.

Keeping eye contact can be embarrassing or it can easily turn into a challenge, a way to state one's position. With Steven it's different because it's curious exploration and softness, it's a joy to not look away quickly.

  
Xabi gets so lost in Steven's autumn sky blues that he forgets about giving a reason for being shocked. Steven reminds him and there's a light smile playing on his lips that makes Xabi's chest tighten.

  
„I just drew something while I was waiting for you,” he eventually says and he shows Steven his napkin.

  
There's a small drawing on it about a group of cats that are vagually detailed, but even from the hasty contour Xabi is sure that Steven can recall the book signing and that horrendous tale about kittens. Among the simple cats there are two whose fur is accentuated by patient little lines.

  
Xabi's heart starts thumping aggressively again when there's no immediate reaction from Steven. He knows that his drawing is blatantly obvious, it shows that he's _soooo_ into Steven and he's got his hopes high, he's optimistic about all this and he would like more and...

  
„Awww, it means that we're created for each other?” Steven asks and Xabi is glad that they're not eating yet because he would have choked on his food.

  
Steven Gerrard, the hottest university teacher with three amazing daughters and a warm home-like smile is flirting with him.

  
Xabi feels fuzzy and he blushes, of course he does and Steven's smile widens.

 

  
***

 

  
Stevie loves mornings like these. It's quiet, even a footstep would echo in his house now that the girls have finally left to school.

  
Each day, it's a new challenge to find clothes that Lourdes likes at first sight, to not let Lilly spend way too much time in the bathroom and to give Lexie her usual morning cuddle while she's having some cereals for breakfast. It's a tiring routine and Stevie must admit that there were days when he felt incapable to follow it.

  
But now it's easy, it's feather light easy and Stevie instinctively leans back when he feels two arms around his waist and it's the most magical thing ever.

  
Xabi's smelling of coffee and mint because he's been preparing some mint tea for the girls who caught a slight cold. Stevie inhales deeply and lets himself drown in the joy of Xabi's beard softly tickling his neck.

  
„We should go back to bed,” Xabi murmurs into Stevie's skin and to highlight it even more, he presses a tiny kiss on Stevie's neck after each word.

  
Stevie enjoys this for a few seconds more and then he turns back and their eyes meet and Stevie's hopeless heart starts beating extra fast even two years after figuring out their relationship.

  
They entwine their fingers and go towards their bedroom like that, they only stop when Xabi turns off the lights in Lilly's room and Stevie makes a mental note that he must remind her that she should switch off every light when she leaves. This is just a quick thought though and then Stevie shifts back all his attention to Xabi.

„Come on, Steven Gerrard, I need to kiss you,” he says and who is Stevie to not obey him.

 

 *

 

Xabi wakes up to soft caresses, Stevie’s fingers are running lightly up and down on the side of his neck, up until his cheekbones. At first Xabi wants to keep his eyes closed and pretend that he’s still asleep, to enjoy his husband’s silent touches. But he can’t help it, he must smile when Stevie gets to the corner of his mouth and he gives himself away with it.

“Isn’t this creepy,” he whispers and it’s so quiet that it doesn’t even sound like a question anymore. And Xabi secretly likes this, there’s something sweet in the fact that Stevie decided to stay awake instead of sleeping through the whole night, which is a luxury with three girls during winter, when one of them seems to be always sick.

“It’s cute and you know that,” Stevie whispers back and Xabi _knows_ , of course. So he reaches out and he feels that his movements are a bit sleep-rugged, but he can find Stevie’s cheek even this way. They lay like that for a while, and it’s so incredibly warm and domestic that it almost feels too dreamlike. Xabi listens to the rhythm of Stevie’s breathing and he’s balancing on the verge of awareness and sleep, his hand on Stevie’s morning stubble and Stevie’s thumb drawing uneven patterns on his own cheek are his only connection with reality.

He might have said some of this out loud, because Stevie entangles their feet and straightens the blanket on them, and then starts talking quietly.

“It isn’t a dream, hey,” his voice is like his caresses, it makes its way straight to Xabi’s hopelessly romantic heart and it’s so easy to melt into Stevie’s touch. “I’ve been watching you for almost an hour and you’re still here. It’s definitely not a dream.”

Xabi doesn’t answer with words because he’s still not entirely awake and after all, Stevie’s the one with literature and nicely put sentences, Xabi only knows how to pour his feelings into colours and lines and shapes. But Stevie understands him perfectly and he knows what the slight tremble in Xabi's hand means when he starts wandering on his body. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what your thoughts are on this, thank you a lot for every kind of feedback :)


End file.
